"Is Soy really that bad for you? What is the best dairy replacement for us vegans who like ice cream and cheese?"
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I personally use raw dairy products, which are unpasteurized and un-homogenized, and heartily recommend them to anyone. It doesn't solve any problems for someone who has chosen the 100% vegan lifestyle for ideological reasons, but is a healthier choice for a lacto-ovo vegetarian IMHO.
If you are on the fence, I encourage you to try lacto-ovo vegetarianism, as the amino acid profile of dairy and eggs is much more favorable for overall physical health and muscular development. Vegetable sources of protein will never give sufficient quantities of 'essential amino acids' [the protein building blocks that our bodies use as bricks and mortar for building/rebuilding muscle].
If you have already answered this question, and feel strongly about the vegan lifestyle, then rice milk, and it's corresponding replacement products are, in my opinion, much better choices than Soy."